Surprise and worrisome

Life is full of surprises ... with a little baby. He always surprised me no matter how.. Thanks Darren for bringing up my days and my boundless love I have with you is growing each single second...

What he surprised me? ... His roll-over skill is improving! Can't wait to see him roll over here and there, let'me catcha you, baby!!!

When I arrived at home after a pretty long and bored working day, I saw Darren was sleeping at side way and his leg was pushing strongly, but ... he still can't push him towards.. I know he is trying hard. Mama never push you on this, is up to the child to do and child has their own freedom as well. Thanks to Maria Montessori. 

Surprise, surprise, surprise... You won't know when your baby can surprise you just as simple as that! :)

Besides surprises that given by him, he made me worried as well and I blamed myself for not being calm when I need to fix the thing right. Still got such a long way to master my mama role. Let's grow and learn together.... 

Here came in another problem that puzzled me, for me, Darren is the first priority among my to-do-list now, nothing is more important than your child..

Should I quit my current job to become a stay-at-home mum, knowing that bonding with Darren will become stronger and stronger? or spending less time with him without knowing him well in return of pay cheque every month?

I really don't know what's the best fit me at this moment. 

Mind Garden

Your mind is like a garden.

Whatever you plant in your mind garden will grow by itself.

Your thoughts are seed you are planting.

They will reproduce after their own kind.

You are the gardener of your own mind garden.

The seeds you choose to sow in your mind garden will determine the harvest that you reap in due time.

Year 2009

Another 8 more days to go.... Goodbye to 2009 & welcome the 2010. Times really fly and it never stop for us at all. Either you achieved what you want or you missed it. Things never be perfect in our life and beyond our control.

Year 2009 is a year that changed alot in my life. Among the changes are :

~ I failed one of my paper in Dec'08 sitting, and it is the very first time i faced the disaster in my studies life. I need to register class again, spent more cash on it jus for this failure.

~ Changed job again. (seem like I'm really a job hopper) Working at TA Futures, a member of TA Group. When i've been offered to this job, I was blind & can't think rationally. From outsider's point of view : wow... TA is a big company, a listed company in Bursa Malaysia's main board, the name of TA could bring impact in your CV. Well... thing always turn out to be the opposite way & it wouldn't go along the way you want.

~ It happened first time in my life after I survived in this world for almost 23 years. I failed consecutively in my exam. It hurt me so bad & I felt the hopeless & I'm too tired to hold on to it.But thanks to everyone who encouraged & supported me.... I managed to pass it after few times of failure. "Learn from the failure, never give up easily, your hardship will be paid later."

~After joining this company, my life become even lazy & even lost. Thanks to my boss who hijacking me into this company & dump us after that. *COOL* I lost my dreams & aims. I don't know what the hell I want for my future & where should i go from here. Life is all about choices & chances.

~Burden of my life is increasing due to Mama's early retirement. She couldn't work now after diagnosed a serious sickness but thanks God, she is recovering now. She is getting older each day after spending all her times on me. Sadly, I still can't provide her a comfort life that I want to. When is the time arrive? I'm wondering and at the same time I'm trying too.

When you are standing in front of the junction, you wish to have someone to guide you, to support you, to lead you all the way. So do I & fortunately it happened to me. I met someone that created a new chapter in my life.

* I found love.

* I found warm.

* I found sharing.

* I found caring.

* I found happiness.

* I found principles.

* I found sadness.

* I found confusedness.

* I found chances.

* I found choices.

And I found you, who meant alot to me.

One year had passed and it couldn't to turn back. We just have to stand strong and keep on searching our way & dream to create more chapter in our life.

Life will only be perfect & meaningful with our dreams keeping us up. Live with your dreams & live fullness & meaningful.

Life is wonderful.