>The secret to dealing with criticism from others is not to reject it or act defensively. The secret is to listen intently to everything the other person is saying about you, and then try to find one or more things you can agree with!
>If you want to have happy, healthy, long-lasting relationships, look for these "truths" and be willing to admit them.
3. BE CRITICAL
Often, people will persist in being critical of their partners because they truly believe they are just trying to help them. However, there are usually deeper, more sinister, motives at work. Many people simply want to fix, change, or control other people. They want to make them over to fit their own image or change their behavior to comply with their own standards. While this is a very common and understandable human tendency, it is another key pattern that is destructive in our relationships.
Another common mistake people make is to store up their critical judgments, instead of voicing them openly. They keep finding fault with people they are related to, yet they don't let the other person know this directly. Then, they either "explode" with criticism over some minor event, or they turn off their affection and the relationship slowly dies.
4. BE RIGHT MOST OF THE TIME
Most people dislike having others make them feel wrong. They will resent you for this, and even if you win the argument or get your way, you'll pay a price later on.
>It's almost always wiser to let other people be right and have their way as much as possible. Obviously, you may not want to compromise on things that are extremely important to you, but 90% of the time, it will make very little difference, one way or the other.
5. BE SELFISH
*always be selfish and try to get your own way.
*Think only about your own wants, needs, and desires.
*Put your concerns first and consider others' needs much less importan
6. BE DISHONEST
*Tell little "white lies" from time to time. Pretend everything is just "fine" when you are really feeling angry or upset. Say you're fully committed to another, when in fact you have some doubts.
7. BE UNFAITHFUL
*Forget the vows and promises you made to each other. Go behind your partner's back and do something you know they wouldn't appreciate. Justify your behavior by saying "those promises were made in the past. Things are different now."
8. BE SUPERIOR
*think of yourself as smarter, prettier, cooler, hipper, or more worthwhile than other people. Make it your habit to put other people down in order to feel good about yourself. Always strive to win any competition, and never give anyone an even break.
9. BE CONTROLLING
*Keep very close tabs on your partner at all times.
*prevent him or her from changing, growing, or maybe even deciding to leave you at a later date.
*Try to intimidate them, dominate them, and keep them from behaving in ways you don't approve.
*Make them fearful of crossing you or offending you by always responding with hostility and rage.
10. BE CERTAIN
*Never ask for guidance or support from others. never admit any shortcomings that might make you appear weak or stupid.
*Always appear to know exactly what you are doing, even when you don't have a clue. This will insure you never learn anything new or useful. It will also guarantee that people who love you will get totally frustrated in their efforts to help you succeed and be happy
Those are happy with your current relationship, pls DO NOT follow those so called instructions above.
